There are steps a person has to go through when they are moving towards acceptance. At first a person wants to blame someone or something for what has happened to them. I wanted to blame someone, anyone, for this happening to me. I was into the self-pity stage of the recovery. If I accepted my responsibility for this injury, I would then have no reason to feel sorry for myself, and at this stage of acceptance, I simply was not ready to accept that part.
It took me a long time to accept my responsibility and realize that this life changing event was my fault. I wanted to, however, be angry with the girl who was driving the car that night. I even wanted to be angry with my friend who had the party that night. Why did he have to have so much alcohol at the party? Why didn’t any of my friends there try to stop us from going on that ride? One thing I had to realize over time was that it was no one’s fault but my own. I got into that car that night on my own will, and I had to accept my responsibility in choosing to go for that ride. Trying to blame someone for the way things had turned out, did not change the fact that my life was what it was. I had to learn that going through life angry and bitter or have the poor-me attitude was not going to change things. I had to accept my responsibility for my life-changing-choice and decide to move beyond the consequences of my choice.
Accepting my responsibility was hard. It took seven years to be able to not feel anger anymore and to forgive.