I can truly say now that I understand the saying, “You do not know what you have or appreciate what you have until it is taken from you.” Whether it is a person, a thing, or anything that takes root in our hearts, and it is suddenly taken away from us, we miss it everyday and want it back so bad. And yes, we go through the what ifs. What if it was me that had gone out to the store instead of them; what if I had communicated more and said I love you more; or in my situation, what if she had turned right onto that road instead of turning left?
But as a person goes through the what ifs, in the end, we have to come to terms with the fact that it is not going to come back. And it is at this crossroad where we can find ourselves saying why me. This is not how I saw my life, and it was not supposed to happen to me. Those two words, why me, were said a lot. On my darkest days, I would cry out those two words, why me?
There were many points throughout this recovery that my life had more darkness in it than light. This relentless injury and the recovery had taken all the joy from my life, and I desperately wanted my old life back.